The Tears that Flow

People are very precious in my life. It's this week that two things were brought to my attention: (1) You don't always know what people are going through (2) You don't know how much longer people have.

I was informed that my childhood friend who is the closest thing I had to a sister when I was younger, tried to take her own life.

I can't describe to you the horror and shock that ravaged my soul when I heard those words uttered. She always  seemed so happy and full of life, how could it be that she had decided living wasn't worth it anymore. I know that she had a rough childhood, quite similar to mine but she got the worse end of it.

Thankfully, the paramedics were called in time and she was able to be saved. She was placed in the psych ward and I believe that she will be there for some time.

You don't always know what people are going through, even if they have a smile on their faces.

My mother informed me that my biological father, whom I had never met, passed away last September at the young age of 48.

I had never met Kenneth, bu I planned to when I turned 18.

This is the man when I was child that I swore I would never forgive and never want to see.

As I grew older I decided that I did want to meet him and get to know his story.

I believed that he deserved a second chance.

I now will never have that opportunity.

My mother said even though I never met Kenneth, I have traits and genetics of this man.

His sense of humor, the laid back nature, and the slow to anger temper until severely provoked.

I do believe one day that I will go to visit my Old Man's grave, I owe him that.

He did truly love me, he was just blinded by the alcohol.

Rest in Peace Dad.

The Cries of my Heart

I have realized lately that I've not been afraid to say what I think. I've been inspired to not just hide what I think about people. If I hide it. then nothing changes.

I may say things that shock people, they can't believe I would say it. 

Why hide my thoughts? I won't be pushed around and that's what I feel like is happening when I hide what I think about people.

It's does no good to keep pent up inside the thoughts and anger that lies inside me.

The ocean is a rockin'.

The love is ever flowing, but I won't hide what I think.

If I think you're being unfair, I'll tell you.

If I think you're acting full of yourself, I'll tell you.

If I think you're just being awesome, I'll tell you.

I won't lie by "pretending" that everything is okay, when it's not.

I might lose friends over it and I might gain friends from it.

That's the cycle of life.

I just want to have fun and not be put down (:

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

The Perfect Evening

Well Catherine has brought it to my attention that I need to add details to my previous blog post, so here's for you Catherine :P

Well my perfect evening started out with me arriving to Olivia's house. I sat in the spinning chair for what felt like eternity. Not being able to see the masterpiece that was being created on my head rather bothered me, I was so curious! After what seemed like a life time, I turned and saw that my hair was so beautiful! I was so thankful that Olivia made me look like a princess (: I felt so well put together after I put everything on (:

Arriving at banquet was nerve wracking because I was going to walk down giant stairs without having a handrail!  I was shaking as my turn came up but Joel held me arm as I walked down the stairs (: We made a grand decent! (:

The superlatives were funny (: The dinner was actually pretty good! (: Then the dancing started (:

Slow dancing with Joel was the amazing (:  I felt like time just stopped (: It was so romantic (:

After we left the Spring House, we went back to Olivia's to get in the hot tub (: It was relaxing and fun, I was about  to fall asleep though.

4:30 is when we finally hit the hay.

Overall, the night was easily one of the best nights of my life (:

Best. Night. Evar

Two words; Banquet Night.

Best Night Evar.

Pretty dresses, laughing, dancing and staying up till 4:30 in morning.

Enough said.

The Thoughts Which Consume Me

The thoughts which consume me.....

Shall I delight in it?

Shall I not?

Will I be a graceful show stopper?

Or I be a laughable clutz?

Will I rise about the amount of work and succeed?

Or shall I wallow in the stress?

Shall it consume me?

Or shall I run the other direction?

Shall it return to the same path?

Or shall we go down a new one?

The thoughts which consume me....

Ocean View

Catherine and I left for Pensecola, FL on Monday morning bright and early.

Our group consists of Mom, Catherine, Grandma and myself (:

We escaped the storm that hit Nashville but we brought it with us the first day ):

We shopped and I found the most amazing smelling cologne evar! It's in "The Body Shop" where my aunt works (: It's called "Arbor" and it smells amazing......

We've laid on the beach the last two days and then get in the hot tub afterwards (:

I have a lovely tan and I can't wait to get tanner lol (: